Miami Loses Tannehill, Gains an Older, Cruddier Tannehill

Jay Cutler’s quick stint in broadcasting came to a screeching halt as a younger version of himself went down in flames before the NFL season even started.

This is a washed up quarterback’s dream. No reason to take the blame as he has for the last decade, he’s just a band-aid on a severed head trying to hold the bleeding to a bare minimum. It would almost be impossible for Cutler to face as much public and pundit scrutiny as he has in the past. He gets to come in, play football again, dodge the blame, and then quietly ride off into the sunset when the season comes to an end.

If he manages to get the Fish to the playoffs, he could be a local, temporary hero! Maybe even resurrect his playing career. He has nothing to lose but his health.

If you start to compare stats, they are eerily similar. Tannehill’s first four years look pretty much like Jay’s. Lots of chucks, lots of interceptions, tons of sacks, and a subpar winning percentage. Thing is, as Cutler aged, got a little more seasoned, changed teams, and matured he didn’t change much. His stat line pretty much stayed the same. Tannehill is only a few years younger. He is 29 and Cutler is 34. But in terms of NFL years played, there’s a big difference. Former NFL players have stated many times that for every year in the NFL played you age about 5 years. It’s no secret as to why. There are other strange similarities too. They both went in the first round, they’re about the same exact size, and they both have attractive blonde wives who look like they would belong in Miami. Cutler and Tannehill even have the same sort of look, like the neighbor who is constantly stepping in dog shit but always comes out smelling like a rose.

Whether or not Tannehill or Cutler is better is not an argument that seems worth it. What were the hopes of Miami fans this season? Playoffs? Super Bowl?!

Truth is, with New England in that same division and Tom Brady still walking on two feet, nothing too surprising is bound to happen anyway. Well, besides Cutler having a pro bowl season. That would be amazing.

Photo Credits: Chicago Sun Times


Published by

Anthony Norman White

Anthony Norman White is a writer from New York, John Candy Enthusiast, Pi's Dad, Musician, Author of Literary Fiction and Poetry, Hip Hop Fanatic.

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